Thursday, May 9, 2013
Let Me Elaborate
So the other day in class one of the discussion questions asked if you'd ever wanted to be a gender other than the one assigned to you at birth. In response to this question I brought up the strict dating-guidelines known as The Rules. I would like to elaborate more on why these "rules" make me NOT want to be female. I mentioned that they encourage manipulation and trickery while the guy just goes along with it in a somewhat dumb way. I want to change this statement...it's not that they are made out to be stupid and Neanderthal-like, but rather given all the power. The whole book is devoted to rules such as Don't Talk too Much that all require the female in the relationship/courtship to be holding absolutely NO power. Not that I think women should have the power while men have none, but why can't it just be equal? And how on earth do you meet "the one" while pretending to be someone else, which is basically what I got from these rules. They encourage women to dress feminine-ly, have long hair (men HATE short hair on women, it's too manly) and wear skirts, oh and most importantly don't talk too much! Heaven forbid this guy finds out you have a brain. Although I appreciate these rules for encouraging women to be confident, I just don't feel like they are going about it in a healthy, feministic way.
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I honestly hadn't heard of The Rules before. I just looked them up, and it's pretty hard to believe that books like these can be sold as actual self-help guides and not satire.
ReplyDeleteThe Wikipedia page for the books has a listing of the "rules". I fully agree with what you said about them encouraging manipulative behavior; the men (because the women who wrote these probably only envisioned them being used in heterosexual relationships) dating these "rules girls" are being put through some terrible stuff.
Not only do The Rules seem like a genuinely terrible way to build a relationship, but some of them make it seem like a cult. "Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts" and "Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist" are some particularly creepy ones. Even the title of the first book uses the phrase "capturing the heart of Mr. Right" to refer to the act of getting a date. Maybe I'm weird, but I don't want to date someone whose heart I'm holding captive.
I totally agree! I have read The Rules and its kind of scary thinking some women see these as actual guidelines to follow. I mean if you want to met someone be yourself. Talk as much as you want and show that you are intelligent and can carry a meaningful conversation with men. If they get intimidated by it then you need to find someone as strong as you are. The whole hair thing is bothersome. There are plenty of women that pull of short hair and do not look manly. It reminds me when Miley Cyrus decided to cut her hair off and the media went into a frenzy. Like it’s hair! She totally owned it and did not allow others to influence her or how she should feel about her hair She rocks it and says it makes her more like herself than she ever has. Now, I’m not saying everything she does is role models for women but she does carry herself very strong and independently and does not let how others feel about her get to her. I think that is powerful to see in someone so mainstreamed through media. She shows young girls and woman that it is okay to be something different and to love every minute of it.
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